the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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