Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
