D3 body, D1 cock
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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