so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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