Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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