Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
