I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
