just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The best walk of shames are on the highway
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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