google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
