So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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