think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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