Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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