What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
