I'm jealous of your bromance
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
