I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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