Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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