i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am spending my child support on dildos
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
