i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
