I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize