Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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