you traded sex for a burrito?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
