11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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