I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
