I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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