Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
