did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
either way he was missing a nipple.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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