dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just want nice things and good sex
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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