They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
