can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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