Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
