um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
