hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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