he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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