people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
