thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
