I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
