The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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