biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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