He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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