If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
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I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
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Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The struggles of a small town man whore
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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