My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
