think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
