talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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