my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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