Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
