sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
