I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
