Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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