he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
