The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
