Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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