I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
