So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
that's an acceptable place to lick
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
