You work out of a Hotel?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
