If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
