You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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