Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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