so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
