dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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