Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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