yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
