But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
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