Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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