halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
